Confronting the Frog: Overcoming Fear & Taking Control of Your Finances
Screams of terror came from my toddler’s room in the dead of night a few weeks back. I bolted so fast to her room that she didn’t even have time to make it to the door herself. She literally leapt into my arms, which must have brought her comfort, because her tears quickly subsided.
She gushed, “DERS A FWOGGGG IN MY BED! HE BIT MY FEEENGER”
I knew this fear was not legitimate. To show her, I pulled up the covers, lifted her pillow, and explained that the frog was not there. The little cut on her knuckle was indeed not from the frog biting her, but from playtime earlier in the day.
I started to tell her that it was a dream. The frog was not real (aka dismissed her fear)– but she insisted that it was. Convincing her otherwise made her even more upset.
I tried telling her it was a nice frog that would not hurt her (aka minimized her fear) – she insisted that it was a BAD frog and did indeed hurt her. I then realized I was taking the wrong approach here, as reasoning with a toddler is hard enough – let alone a toddler at 1:00 am.
So, I decided to address her fear. We talked about what the frog was doing in her dream and why she was afraid of it.
Then, we overcame her fear. We talked about what to do when we are afraid and actions we can take to feel safe again.
The frog continued to be discussed over the next couple of weeks. It slowly moved from fearful conversation to confident declarations. “Allie, who will help you if you are afraid?” “Mommy, Daddy, and Jesus!”
“What do we say to the frog?” “No thank you, frog!”
Later, when contemplating my own life, I thought of hurdles that were holding me back from taking steps forward. I realized that the word “hurdles” was really just thinly masking “fears.” I face numerous professional hurdles that are actually fears. Fear of failing, fear of stretching myself too thin, fear of being associated with the bad egg financial professionals… They might not all be legitimate fears – but they are very real to me. How am I addressing my fears? What am I doing to overcome them? What do I say to the frog the next time he scares me?
What fears are you dismissing or minimizing in your life? Are you afraid to lift the covers of your own finances for fear of what lies underneath? Pretending the frog is not there is not the solution. Addressing the fear, head on, is. Sometimes, having a professional demonstrate a path forward through your uncertainty is enough to give you confidence in your future. My team is happy to help you overcome.