You might recall the fascinating interview I had with Tony Hixon, author of Retirement Stepping Stones. Remembering his mother’s story moves and compels readers to make changes in their lives. Tony, of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management (HZCM), made the Amazon Best Seller status in 5 categories, has been a guest on dozens of podcasts, and has been featured on some of the nation’s most popular financial media companies like MarketWatch.
HZCM didn’t stop with Tony’s book. Refocus Coaching was launched in 2022 with Life Coach, Dr. Scott Miller, at its helm. The program aims to guide the way for people to find meaning, live with purpose, and leave a legacy.
I’ve had some questions on my mind about this coaching program, and recently had the opportunity to interview Dr. Miller to get them answered! Check out our conversation below:
1. I know quite a few lively people who retired and just… stopped. They didn’t seem to be enjoying life and certainly weren’t thriving anymore. What are the biggest hindrances to having a retirement that is happy and fulfilling?
A lot of people simply don’t plan… they don’t even think about the second half of their lives. They think retirement is a just a continuation of their current life and that isn’t true. They don’t compensate for the fact that their friends and whole sense of identity might change. They don’t plan for the future and just let it happen to them. They think they will just find things to do.
Another big hindrance I see is when spouses aren’t on the same page. A husband has his idea of what the future will look like, and the wife has her own thoughts. That creates a lot of conflict simply because they haven’t talked and planned ahead for that significant amount of time.
The other thing I hear people say is that they never want to work again – ever, so they get this idea that this retirement period is all rest and leisure. There might be more of that, but they still need to work at something. They just haven’t planned it out.
2. Currently, you offer robust group workshops and private coaching sessions. If, however, you could only leave people with one lesson to learn from you, what would it be?
The quick answer is to spend less time with screens. The default is for people to spend a lot more time in front of a TV and a computer. Find other things in your life. We call screen time “pushing the default button” because it is easy and comfortable.
I also have a more in-depth lesson too, which is just having a half time. A half time is taking a time in your life look at who you are. I say it over and over again at workshops. What am I like? What are my talents? My skills? What do I find most valuable and most important in my life? Rather than of thinking about the doing all of the time, think about the “who am I?” If people can take a little time to sit back and discover who they are, it will help them have a successful, meaningful, and significant second half.
3. I am sure no one wakes up one day and says, “I’m going to be a life coach.” Can you describe what led you to this profession?
During my 32 years as a dentist, I was always interested in people… what makes them tick… watching how they react in stressful environments. The dental office is a pretty stressful place, so I could see how people responded to it. Some people handled it really well, but others did not. I think the term for that is emotional health. I’ve been fascinated by that and other aspects and qualities of people.
I’m interested in what it means to be human, and what makes people unique – their qualities. Beyond things like race and culture – more on what makes them tick. What do they like to do? I’m also, by heart, a developer. Developers are people who like to pour their life into others and see them develop. I like to see people identify their own uniqueness and use it for the good of others, and to be connected to something greater than themselves.
I’m also a relator by nature. I really like being with people. In the dental world, I was with people all the time. My wife and I were involved in a lot of small groups. Adam, Amy, Tony, and Keri were all in a small group together. It was talking about life, talking about our struggles, talking about parenting, marriage, and jobs. Just doing life together. I was fascinated by that too. I was usually the leader, so I loved the idea of getting people to talk and discuss – getting things out in the open. It’s amazing how a group of people can learn from each other through discussion. You find out that other people have a lot of the same struggles. You’re not so different. I try to bring that into the workshops.
4. Is there a certain “type” of person you think could benefit most from your workshops and sessions?
My very first answer was that everyone can benefit. There is no one who does it absolutely perfectly. However, a better way to answer that question is who wouldn’t benefit. The person who doesn’t need what I have to offer is someone who is a futuristic thinker. Someone who has taken a long half time, set goals, looked to the future, and doesn’t need to think through what I have to offer. That would be very few people. So many people get in their 40 – 60s and haven’t thought about the 2nd half of their lives. So, I think everyone can benefit from it. Even if you set certain goals, there are benefits to getting ideas from other people in a workshop setting. It’s helpful to hear struggles from other people, as well as ensure both spouses are on the same page.
I really appreciated this interview with Scott. One phrase from the interview really stuck out to me. Scott said, “I like to see people identify their own uniqueness and use it for the good of others, and to be connected to something greater than themselves.” Personally, I feel like a fulfilling life really comes down to that.
If you want guidance and inspiration on how to ensure the 2nd half of your life is meaningful, I really suggest checking out one of Scott’s group workshops or considering private coaching. Check out future workshop dates here: https://hzcapital.com/coaching/