What I Wish My Clients Felt Safe Telling Me 

Money is a very personal thing.

Our level of knowledge about money is a very sensitive thing.

There can be ego, identity, guilt, dreams, and disappointments hiding behind a simple conversation about money.

Sometimes as a financial advisor, I hold back from talking directly about a certain financial topic for fear of unearthing an uncomfortable environment.

I can sometimes feel my clients doing the same to me.

I’m not sure I will ever be able to make a money conversation feel perfectly comfortable, despite my best efforts.

I really do want clients to tell me what’s on their mind.

Here’s what I wish more clients felt safe saying to me without fear of judgement.

1. “I’m embarrassed I haven’t done this sooner.”

So many people wait years to sit down with a financial advisor. They feel like they should have already had everything figured out, saved more, or started planning earlier. 

But here’s the truth: most people feel that way. You’re not behind. You’re human. And you’re right on time, because you’re starting now. 

2. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sometimes I see the nodding… but I can tell the words didn’t quite land. 

And I wish clients would interrupt me more often and say, 

“Wait, what does that mean?”
“Can you explain it in normal language?”
“I’m lost – back up.” 

I try to watch for cues that clients are tracking with me, but I’m human too. Sometimes I get focused on the point I am trying to make; I’m trying to form my next sentence in my mind. On occasion, I can get wrapped up in facts and not notice there was a hesitation. My job isn’t to sound smart. It’s to make clients feel smart about their money. I wish someone just yelled at me to back up or slow down every once in a while 😊 

3. “I made a money mistake, and I feel awful about it.”

Maybe you made a trade in your account that went south. You made an impulse purchase and now you have a boat you never intended on having. You loaned money to a family member, and you know they aren’t going to give it back. 

We all have financial decisions we wish we could take back. It doesn’t’ make me judge you, it just helps us both be more prepared in the future to address things that could come up. 

4. “I don’t want to talk about this with my spouse.”

Money and relationships are complicated. Sometimes one partner handles everything and the other feels disconnected (or even resentful). There are a lot of emotions and relationship dynamics at play when it comes to making financial decisions. A recommendation that seems so basic to me and can often carry greater relational complications than I realize.  

Know that no relationship is perfect, and you don’t have to have the perfect marriage to plan a strong financial future together. I can help navigate these conversations gently, neutrally, and respectfully. I don’t know what topics to avoid in meetings, if I don’t know what the pain points are. Sometimes these conversations can happen together and sometimes they might happen apart. 

5. “I feel pressure to look like I have more than I do.”

When you scroll social media or look over at the new car in your neighbors driveway, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. It can feed into this thought processed that you deserve to have that too – or you need to have it to in order to be viewed favorably. 

Know that so many people are struggling privately while projecting wealth publicly. If you talk through the purchases you are considering, perhaps we can get to the root of why you are considering it. For a worthy reason that will real value to your life or a reason that’s rooted a bit more shallowly.  

6. “I don’t actually want to retire.”

Some clients feel like they’re supposed to want to stop working at 65. But what if you love your job? What if you want to stay busy? What if “retirement” sounds boring? 

That’s okay. Retirement planning doesn’t have to mean stopping. It can mean choosing — how, when, and where you want to spend your time. We have resources like Refocus Coaching to help you think through this topic. 

7. “I’m scared.”

Scared of running out of money… scared of my portfolio value hitting a number I put in my head I didn’t want it to go below… Scared of messing up. 

I wish more clients would just say it out loud, because once it’s said, it can usually be dealt with. Fear doesn’t have to sit in the driver’s seat. It just needs to be heard and understood. 

~ 

Financial planning works best when it’s real and honest – not polished and duplicated the same for everyone. 

You don’t have to impress me. You don’t have to have it all together. You don’t even have to agree with every recommendation I make. You just have to show up, do the work to understand your motivations and goals, and communicate openly!